What do you mean you can't read my mind?

It seems men are often accusing women of expecting them to read our minds. How was I supposed to know that she wanted that, or expected me to do this? She never told me , they complain to each other.
The thing is many women do not like to tell the man what they need, want, desire; at least not all the time. Women's rights may have come a long way but there are still plenty of men who do not like to be told directly by a woman what he should or should not do. And there are plenty of women who do not like to have to tell the man what to do. For one thing, if you tell him more than once then that is classified as nagging, the cardinal sin that any women could commit.
There is something much deeper I believe though. Women do not want to tell a man something because they have this innate desire to be understood without using words. A man who can decipher body language, and subtle hints is a rare prize. The man who catches on to his wife's longing glances at a clothing store and surprises her with a gift card from that store has accomplished no small feat. He has recognized the inner desire of his beloved's heart. More importantly though, he did not just recognize his wife's desires he acted upon it in a gracious and loving way. New clothing may not be an important thing in the long run, but for a woman it can boost her self esteem and be a creative outlet as well.
A woman longs to be known, loved, and appreciated on a deep level by her significant other. There is something innately satisfying when he brings home her favorite snack food without being asked. Or when she has had a long stressful day, he sees the despair in her eyes and offers to cook dinner for the kids while she goes out and drinks coffee with a friend. If a woman has to ask for something then perhaps she reasons its not really that important. If someone else lovingly gives it to her , then its a confirmation of that person's love and thoughtfulness. More importantly it tells the woman that she is valued and cherished.
I remember one time reading a department store circular and commenting on a special deal where you could buy a pair or sapphire earrings and necklace for a low price. My husband not only listened to what I said, he went directly to the store and attempted to buy the jewelry. Turns out the ad was for the following week. Undeterred though, he REMEMBERED what I had said about the jewelry and returned the following week and bought the jewelry. The fact that the jewelry was probably not real sapphire was irrelevant to me. I loved that jewelry because it was a physical reminder that my husband had not only listened to what I said, but truly heard me , and then acted upon it.
Trying to read some one's mind is not easy. It takes hard work, time, and commitment. It requires actively listening to your spouse. It takes a little bit of courage to act upon something that may be difficult or challenging. It takes thoughtfulness and creativity sometimes. In the end though, rest assured most wives do not really expect you to read their minds. Open and honest communication is the pillar of all relationships. Still for those occasional times when a husband does read his wife's mind, she will be grateful.

It ain't easy being green

Ok, I am not Kermit the Frog, but I still kind of feel that way sometimes. It seems as if so many things that I believe in and hold dear are outside the realm of "normalcy" whatever that is.
Most people assume that the best place for a birth to take place is a hospital. I believe otherwise. Most people believe that kids need the socialization and mom needs a break , so you should send the kids off to public school. I believe God gave me these kids for a reason and it wasn't to send them off for someone else to raise. Most people believe that kids "need" fashionable clothes and the latest electronic gadgets. I believe kids can entertain themselves by playing in the yard and consignment sales are wonderful ways to get inexpensive clothes. Most people think that letting kids watch several hours of tv a day is ok, after all its gets them out of moms hair so she can make dinner. Though I do allow my kids to watch certain tv shows on the Internet, I am very picky about what they are allowed to watch. My eventual goal is to wean them off of the internet tv shows. Most people assume that if your child has a minor illness you cart them off to the ER or drs office for some medicine. I would rather try natural things like fresh fruit, herbal remedies, and aromatherapy. Most people see nothing wrong with frozen dinners, occassional fast food, and processed meals. I dream of going completely organic, though I am still a long ways from getting there.
I honestly never set out to be so unconventional. Its just seems that this is the lifestyle that suits my family. Its the style of parenting that makes sense to me. Though it is difficult when it seems as if you are constantly going against the "norm" , I know that it is what God has called me to. I know that this is the right thing for my family. I love my family and I am constantly striving to find ways to be a better wife and mom. Though I am a long way from reaching my goals, I will striving toward the mark that has been set before me. I know God is right there helping me and cheering me on.
Thankfully, in the last few years He has given me a strong support network of people with similar ideals and values about childbirth and parenting issues. People who consider it "normal" to breastfeed, baby wear, and co sleep with a toddler. People who believe that kids are a blessing and debt is a burden not the other way around. People who see nothing wrong with having 4 or 5 kids, who adopt kids with special needs and kids of different races. Its still frustrating to constantly see so much negative media attention given to these parenting practices which are out of the mainstream. Yet I know God has allowed me to have the experiences I have had for a reason and I intend to learn and grow from them. Even if many people treat me like I am a purple polka dotted monster with two heads,, oh well so be it. There is only one name that someone can call me that will get a response from me. That name is "mommy", and I count it pure joy to be entrusted with their problems, dreams, worries, goals, and achievements. It ain't easy being green , but it is so worth it.

I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately with all the things that are required of me. Its a typical situation for any mom, and especially for those of us who choose to homeschool our kids. There are always dishes to wash, laundry to do, bill to pay, scrapes to kiss, meals to cook, and the list goes on. I have always felt my calling to homeschool was one of the most important duties I undertake. Yet when do I have the time to decide curriculum , make lessons plans, do the worksheets, crafts, projects etc that go along with the lessons, and let us not forget actually teaching the lesson.

It seemed I was only achieving a fraction of the things I needed to finish. What was I supposed to do? Well , I was reading on a homeschool yahoo group about a friend who was looking into http://www.time4learning.com/ . She wanted something to use with her kindergarten child that he could do with limited supervision during the period right after she had her baby. Several people recommended it very highly and my friend ended up signing up for it.

I started thinking of how difficult it was meeting the needs of a baby, toddler, kindergartner and two elementary age kids. So I talked to my husband , and we decided to sign the older two up. The demo lessons were great because it allowed us to see what kind of program was offered and how to navigate the activities.

We have been using http://www.time4learning.com/ now for about 4 months and we love it. My third grader can awaken early and do his work first thing in the morning. My 4th grader usually does his work late at night. If we have a lot of "extracurricular activities" in a week, they can work ahead on the weekend. The program keeps track of the scores and what lessons are finished, and all the parent has to do is print them off. The lessons are fun , interactive, and there are quizzes and tests to make sure the information has been understood. Its a big weight off of my mind. Its worked so well that my 5 yr old is now begging for me to sign him up as well!


Now if I could just find a program that does laundry and washes the dishes, I would be perfectly happy.

Homeschooling, unschooling, schooling, schooling, schooling

I am not sure what type of schoolers you would call my family, but whatever it is, we have fun. Monday we took a field trip to the interpretive center in South Charleston. My 9 yr old learned all about the Native Americans, how to make glass, and a little bit about the local history of mining. It was very interesting. I was really proud of him as he sat and listened for almost an hour to the tour guide explain the significance of the exhibits and artifacts. I love that I can take him to a place like and let him learn history by experiencing it first hand. ( not just through a book).
We then went to a nearby park and did fill in the blank Bible Verses and addition facts with sidewalk chalk. I love that God has granted me the knowledge about learning styles and the ability to put it into practice with a variety of ways.

Tuesday we went to a homeschool co op. The boys were able to hear a devotion, discuss the frogs in the story of Moses and the 10 plagues, dissect a handmade edible frog, receive a cool packet of info on frogs, and dissect a real frog. It was so cool and informative. Again my 9 yr old had a great time, and even shared some of his new found knowledge related to frog anatomy. He wants to do more frog dissections at home with his dad and me, so he can tell us more about the various frog organs he encountered.

Today we went to the local science and technology kids museum. They watched a movie about the fighter pilot and my 8 yr old was enthralled with this. They were also able to play with the Lego movie making exhibit, the hydro power / water erosion exhibit, and see some of their friends.

Its such a cool thing to know how your kids learn best and find ways to incorporate that knowledge into daily lesson plans. Its a heart warming experience to see their eyes light up when they learn something new or when their mind is finding ways to incorporate their new found knowledge into some practical technology. I feel so blessed to be a part of this, and all the conversations that pop up just because I am with them and willing to listen. Maybe this is how God feels when we come to HIM in prayer?

You will never believe.....

what my two year old did the other week at the movies. I had taken my kids to the downtown movie theatre for the free summer kids flick. We were running late and as I rushed kids down to the theatre from the parking garage , I accidentally left my wallet, diaper bag, and baby back pack in the van. We got into the theatre just as the movie was starting. Everybody quickly settled in and was enjoying watching "Aliens in the Attic".

After about 30 minutes , I realized the baby had a dirty diaper. Everybody was watching the movie so I thought we would wait til the end of the movie and then change her diaper. Well , she did not like that idea. She began to fuss and cry . I realized I was going to have to take her out to change her. Except that the diapers were in the van; which was on the second floor of the parking garage. I knew the older boys were enthralled with the movie and short of a nuclear exposion would not go anywhere. The two yr old though was another story. He was watching the movie now, but his attention span was as short as ... well a two yr old's. I soon realized that I had the fun task of dragging the two yr old and the baby back to the van to obtain a diaper, and then changing her , before we could return to the movie. I told the older ones I was changing the baby's diapers and not to go anywhere.

Then I took the baby in one arm , and with the other arm pulled the two yr old along beside me. Everything was ok til he spotted the arcade area on the way out. A bunch of flashing lights, and noisy machines proved too irresistible for a toddler. He ran over there and pretended to play all the fun games. All my bribes of candy and popcorn were useless. He was not going to leave the movie theatre of his own free will.

I realized that there was no way I was going to persuade him to go to the van , so I could pick up the much needed diaper. So we went back and forth between the arcade and the back of the movie theatre. Usually after about a few minutes in the back of the theatre, the baby would cry and we would head back to the lobby and game area. And then it happened . We were in the game area and I turned my head for a few seconds. Next thing I know the "claw" game, which my toddler had admired ,had a new novelty to win. My son. It was an oversized game filled with cushions, and regulation size basketballs. So of course the slot to retrieve the toys was larger too. Evidently it was large enough for an audacious two yr old to climb into it. The staff and I were understandably at our wits end. He was inside the game, and they quickly informed me they did not have a key to open the game up. They would have to call the manufacturer or something. In hindsight I really wish I would have taken a picture , but at the time all I could think of was that I wanted him out. I started yelling inside to him that I would buy popcorn or whatever he wanted, just please come out.

Meanwhile , he had jumped into the section with all the toys. He was picking up basketballs, so one of the movie workers said he could have the basketball if he just came out. I guess he heard this because he then threw two basketballs into the slot where you retrieve your toys. I quickly pulled the basketballs out. He then quickly and nimbly jumped into the retrieval slot himself. I then pulled him out feet first. Its kind of what I imagine it would be like to give birth to a baby who is presenting feet first. He was in and out in less than ten minutes, though it seemed like a lifetime while it was happening.

After he came out, he picked up the basketballs and started walking off with a big smile on his face. He had what he wanted. I am not sure it ever really dawned on him , what a crazy , inappropriate thing he did.

My nerves took a little longer to recover. The movie was almost over, so we retrieved his siblings and headed for the van. They were jealous of the basketballs til I expained how he had obtained them. Then they were just in shock. After changing the baby's diaper (finally) , and buckling everyone in the van; I called my dear husband. Of course he did not answer. So I texted my best friend. I forwarded the texts to my husband as well. He finally responded by asking me if I was sure that I was not dreaming this whole thing up. Um no, sweetheart we have the basketballs to prove it. He then called to actually talk to me. He asked why I was laughing about this serious situation. I told him I could either laugh or cry. I chose to laugh. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Next time though, I will not forget the diapers. Oh yeah he is not allowed near claw machines, anymore at least until he is too big to fit into them.