Decisions

What does it look like to follow God? While there are some basic tenets to be followed, the path can and will look different for different people. How do you know if you are following the right path for you? Do you feel a sense of peace with the work you are doing , whether it be parenting, a job, your role in the church and community,? For a long time Brian and I have not felt like we were exactly where God wanted us to be. We now must decide where God is leading, and if we choose to follow. Though many will discourage us and try to tell us we are not doing God's will, we must follow God not man. Oftentimes people become upset because they are not following God and it angers them to see others who are . Or maybe they are doing God's will by living a "normal" life in suburbia and being active in a place of worship. They think that if that is where God wants them then that must be where God wants others too.
Brian and I know the "normal " life is not where God wants us. Though as one Christian comedian used to say weirdness is a relative thing. It has taken many years but I am beginning to assemble a group of friends who think homeschooling can be a "normal" thing, , having more than 2. 5 kids is a blessing not a curse, homebirth is a natural safer way of bringing life into this world ( for most women) , and that modern medical practice does not hold all the answers and is often a source of the problem rather than a solution. Now God is calling us to take another step of faith into the unknown.. We are not sure where it will lead but I know with HIM as our shepherd; we will be well provided for . I just ask for my Christian brothers and sisters to pray with Brian and I, that we will have the courage and wisdom to follow where HE leads . Pray for our kids as well that we may model Christ like behavior to them in all things. I LOVE YOU JESUS! Selah...

Blessings... I think

Dear Lord,

Thank you that my children are creative,,, even though my 9 yr old is up at 1 am creating his newest "invention" with his K'nex toys.

Thank you that my 4 yr old is learning his letters,... even though it means he writes the letters on his pillow, the wall, or whatever else happens to be nearby.

Thank you my 2 yr old likes to help "clean up" by loading the dishwasher and wiping off the table... even though he was the one who dumped the food and drinks on the table in the first place.

Thank you for my little girl's dirty diapers and outgrown clothes.... it means she is receiving plenty of mommy milk and growing bigger as a result.

Thank you for friends and family who feel confortable just "stopping by" .. even though it means they see my messy house and my two yr old without clothing.

Thank you for all the clothes and food and books, and toys my family has been blessed with... even though most of them are on the floor or being used by the dog for a chew toy.

Thank you for electric, trash, gas, water, and medical bills. It means we have a lighted, warm house with clean water and people who come and take our trash away for us. It also means we had drs and medicine who could make us better when we were really sick.

Thank you for salvation which you have given to me, even though it cost you your only Son dying on the Cross. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Selah.

New family member

Well, it happenend today. We were driving to Taco Bell at Southridge and saw the balloons at the end of the Wal Mart parking lot. These usually indicate that the lady who heads up the local canine rescue organization is there encouraging people to adopt stray dogs and cats. For some strange reason I decided that I would allow the boys to have a puppy. When I say puppy though, I don't mean a small little furball. This dog is the same size or bigger than my sister's full grown dog. My dad says he will get to be the same size as the dog on the Beethoven movies. $20 for dog food, $5 for collar, dog dish, and toy,,, having an animal which will love my boys and play fun games with them.. priceless. I know there are going to be messes to clean up, and most of his care will probably fall to me.. Why don't I feel bad about buying the dog then? Why is it that I pet him and watch him snuggle up to my husband and lick his face and think , yeah, I did the right thing? Time will tell. I just know my boys could use an extra friend right about now. Come to think of it, I think we all could . A friend who doesn't get mad or yell, or try to get back when we have done something wrong. A friend who forgives. That would be nice. I know it is just a dog and everything, but there is something therapeutic about these four legged creatures. Who knows maybe they have something to teach us about God and His Love, something we haven't been learning anywhere else.

titleless post

I don't have anything terribly amusing or interesting to say, hence the title of this post. Just wanted to say that I had a day that was rather productive, not too much frustration or friction between family members. Just another day to enjoy life, and be thankful for all the blessings He has bestowed.
I was able to attend a brunch for Compassion sponsors Saturday and met a former sponsored child. He is working on his MBA and has a job in research at Johns Hopkins University. It was inspiring to see what God has done in his life through a Compassion sponsor. I had thought a lot about being an advocate for Compassion , and God confirmed it Saturday. I didnot say a lot to Brian but he felt the same way I did, and took the initiative to speak to someone about it. Even though it did not have the response we thought it would, we still felt and saw God working. It is a positive thing when someone else, especially your husband , feels that God is speaking the same thing to him as what I felt God was speaking to me. In other words we agreed on something.. will miracles never cease. :) I know God placed this desire , and compassion in my heart for a reason.. He does not expect me to just sit around and do nothing, or bemoan the state of the things.. He calls us to take an active part and make the world a better place to the glory of His name. Selah.

Hope Floats

I remember a Sandra Bullock movie that came out in the 90's with the title Hope Floats. I watched the movie and it was a good though very sad movie . For many years after I watched it though, I didn't understand the movie's title. After having experienced some of what life has to offer, I am starting to understand it.
Oftentimes I become frustrated with my circumstances, and my seeming inability to change them or even my role in them. I generally become discouraged, angry, sullen, and even withdrawn. Depression seems like my closest friend during these periods. Yet when I am so low that it seems like nothing will ever change or become better, it does. Usually its just a tiny insignificant thing which occurs, but it in some way or another is an answer to prayer. A gift, an encouraging word, a smile, a hug, an evening with a special friend, it always comes when I need it the most.
I cannot count the times when I would cry out to God in deep grief saying that no one cares about me. It would be then that my phone would ring , my best friend who lives out of state would be calling me. Or one time I actually wrote in my journal that even though I knew God loved me , I couldn't feel His Love. I was in a coffee shop and a perfect stranger who was passing by stopped, looked at me and said, "God wants me to tell you that He loves you. " She then sat down and talked to me for about 30 minutes. I still cry when I think of it. He finds so many wonderful , creative ways to show His love to His children.
And I guess maybe that is why, everytime my spirit sinks down inside of me, it still manages to somehow find its way back to the surface. Find its way back to living, dreaming, loving, creating, and forgiving. Hope floats.
.
.